NATALIE & MICHAEL BOERNER
Date Completed: 9/26/2017
DRS. LES AND LESLIE PARROTT
206.123.4321
Prepared by:
Report for:
SYMBIS.com
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
+
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
+
NATALIE MICHAEL
ABOUT US
General
Age
Ethnic Background
Religious Affiliation
Education
Employment Status
Employment Category
Family of Origin
Parents’ marital status
How you were raised
Birth order in family
Number of kids in family
Marriage
Wedding Date
Relationship Status
Previous Marriages
Number of children
Expecting a child
Length of engagement
Stability of marriage
Long distance issues
49
Caucasian
Christian/Non-denominational
Some College (no degree)
Part Time
Other
One or both are deceased
Both biological parents
Third
3
03/04/1989
Married 28 years
0
4
No
3-6 months
Smooth & steady
No
52
Caucasian
Christian/Non-denominational
Some College (no degree)
Full Time
Professional Services
Divorced
Raised by mother
First
2
03/04/1989
Married 28 years
0
4
No
6-12 months
Smooth & steady
No
Date Completed: 9/26/2017
Invite Code: CXYZXYZ
GETTING THE MOST FROM YOUR SYMBIS+ REPORT
What you’re about to experience through this report will help you maximize your marriage. With the help of
your certified facilitator, you will discover countless new insights and dozens of new skills to strengthen your
bond.
Our Goals Together with SYMBIS+
1. Obtain a clear picture of your goals for our time working together.
2. Gain new insights into your personalities and how they work together.
3. Gain new skills to strengthen your relationship for lifelong love.
1
© SYMBIS.com
The Strengthen Your Marriage guidebook can be used to augment your
experience with this report–however, it’s not required. A small prompt on
some pages will point you to relevant chapters.
Learn more: www.store.LesandLeslie.com
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
+
Congratulations! You have strong momentum for a growing and thriving
marriage. The combination of your mindsets, your psychological health as
individuals, and your compatibility as a couple, provides you with
promising vitality for lifelong love. Of course, this does not exempt you
from bumps in the road – that’s part of married life. The good news? Your
strong momentum puts you in a prime place for maximizing what you’ll
learn in your SYMBIS+ Report. Use your momentum to get all you can out
of this experience.
OVERVIEW: MARRIAGE MOMENTUM
2
NATALIE MICHAEL
HIGH
DYNAMICS
CONTEXT
WELLBEING
71%
4 Caution Flag(s)
87%
3 Caution Flag(s)
MINDSET
RESOLUTE MINDSET RESOLUTE MINDSET
COOPERATING SPOUSE ENERGIZING SPOUSE
Refer to the “Marriage Momentum” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
+
You are a true believer when it comes to matri-
mony. In fact, you have the highest marriage
motivation of any other category. You are more
than twice as likely as others to say: "Divorce is
not an option." When you married, you married
for life. You resonate with words like devotion,
dedication, and commitment. More than others,
you hold strong family values and you want to do
everything you can to have a rock solid marriage.
You are a true believer when it comes to matri-
mony. In fact, you have the highest marriage
motivation of any other category. You are more
than twice as likely as others to say: "Divorce is
not an option." When you married, you married
for life. You resonate with words like devotion,
dedication, and commitment. More than others,
you hold strong family values and you want to do
everything you can to have a rock solid marriage.
As you can see from your identical descriptions, the two of you share the same Resolute mindset. Is this a
good thing? You bet. You're both highly motivated to be married and you're optimistic about it being a
life-long commitment. Neither of you see divorce as acceptable. In fact, you'd both say it's not even an
option. While you know there will be ups and downs in your relationship, you both expect to be fulfilled in
your marriage and you're probably both inclined to have a family. You treasure your traditional values
together.
Bottom line? Your like-minded match, compared to being matched with any other mindset, holds great
promise for you when it comes to life-long love. The remainder of this report will be particularly helpful to
both of you in maximizing your future together.
HOW YOUR MINDSETS MESH
RESOLUTE
MINDSET
RATIONAL
MINDSET
ROMANTIC
MINDSET
RESTLESS
MINDSET
RELUCTANT
MINDSET
MINDSET
Whether you are recently married or married for decades, your attitude toward the institu-
tion of marriage - and how it mixes with your spouse - can be a helpful insight.
Michael
Natalie
What do you think about your results?
What makes you feel good and what concerns you at this stage and why?
Refer to the “Marriage Mindset” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
3
RESOLUTE
MINDSET
RESOLUTE
MINDSET
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
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MARRIAGE
WELLBEING
SELF
CONCEPT
INDIVIDUAL
WELLBEING
When it comes to your sense of self and your
confidence in your abilities, you vacillate. At
times you feel strong and sure of yourself
but you also have just as many times when
you feel unstable. Your self-esteem wavers.
You show a moderate degree of empathy.
You can identify with others when you try to.
Being more intentional with this important
ability is sure to help you cultivate deeper
understanding and a stronger connection
with your spouse.
You report having a moderate degree of
unresolved issues from your childhood
home. At times in your marriage, this may
drive you to be reactive and sometimes feel
controlled or pressured. You may also find
yourself leaning on your partner to meet
needs that weren’t met when you were
growing up.
You have absolute trust in each other. You feel completely safe together and have confi-
dence in each other. You know you can count on one another and this mutual trust is an
enormous asset for your marriage.
Abuse by someone, Depression,
Abuse between parents, Anger
WELLBEING
Your marriage can only be as healthy as the two of you. Exploring your wellbeing as
individuals, as well as the wellbeing of your relationship, is vital to enduring love.
When it comes to your individual as well as relationship wellbeing, what concerns you the
most and why?
Refer to the “Wellbeing” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
4
TRUST:
Because you characterize your relationship as being consistent, reliable, and dependable,
with little turbulence or conflict, you are more likely to have practiced negotiation and
compromise. Your stability bodes well for your marriage.
STABILITY:
You share a great deal of your core values in common and this certainly edifies your marriage.
SIMILARITY:
90%
4
3
EMPATHY
Abuse between parents, Partners
annoying habit, Unrealistic expectations
CAUTION
FLAGS
71% 87%
You have a strong sense of yourself. You
know who you are and you have confidence
in your abilities. In short, you have a healthy
self concept that bolsters emotional health
and wellbeing.
You show a high level of empathy. You're
quick to put yourself in another’s shoes. You
set your own agenda aside to accurately
understand. This is a valuable asset and
surely helps you cultivate a deeper connec-
tion with your spouse.
You tend to be your own person. You have a
positive and healthy sense of being able to
make decisions on your own within your
relationship. Relative to others, you have a
minimal amount of unresolved issues or
pain in relation to your childhood home.
This sense of healthy autonomy likely serves
you well in your marriage.
HEALTHY
AUTONOMY
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
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Natalie: You feel very content and happy
with your level of connection with your
immediate and extended family relation-
ships. Relative to others you have very little
friction with any of them.
Michael: You feel very content and happy
with your level of connection with your
immediate and extended family relation-
ships. Relative to others you have very little
friction with any of them.
Natalie: The relationship you have with your
partner’s parents seems optimistic and support-
ive.
Michael: The relationship you have with
your partner’s parents seems optimistic and
supportive.
Natalie: Your religious faith and the people
you worship with is somewhat important to
your social support system.
Michael: You view your religious faith and
the people you worship with to be a signifi-
cant part of your social support system.
Natalie: You feel very good about how your
individual networks of social relationships are
melding. You feel good about your partner’s
investment in your friends and vise versa.
Michael: You feel very good about how your
individual networks of social relationships
are melding. You feel good about your
partner’s investment in your friends and vise
versa.
complemented
CONTEXT: SOCIAL LIFE
The social support a couple enjoys around their marriage is vital. Being aware of how your
two worlds combine on a practical level is essential to making sure they don’t collide on an
emotional level.
Are you each satisfied with your current level of social support? What do you wish were
different and why? What can you do to improve your social support as a couple?
Refer to the “Social Life” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
5
CONTENTMENT WITH FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
-
+
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY IN-LAWS
PRIORITIZING TIME WITH MUTUAL FRIENDS
SOCIAL SUPPORT FROM MY FAITH COMMUNITY
-
+
-
+
-
+
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
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MONEY TALKS
• In my home growing up, money was…
• When I think about our financial future…
• What you may not know about money and me is…
• The thing I appreciate about you in relationship to money is…
• When it comes to money, I’d like to improve my…
• One specific action we could take right now that would help me is…
To minimize friction over finances, you’ll want to keep the communication channels
clear. Completing these sentences with your Facilitator will help you do just that:
CONTEXT: FINANCES
Your financial skills, attitude and history, make up an important part of your marriage.
Every couple benefits from a healthy "money talk" to curtail currency conflicts.
What’s one practical action step you can both take within the next month to ensure
your marriage is on the best financial path?
Refer to the “Finances” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
6
What concerns you most about the current picture of your Money Matrix and why?
What gives you peace about your financial future?
MONEY MATRIX
You report having a significant amount of
financial debt. This is an issue that is sure
to put stress on your relationship and it
deserves a clear and objective discussion
You report having a significant amount of
financial debt. This is an issue that is sure
to put stress on your relationship and it
deserves a clear and objective discussion
“I’ve started one
but don’t stick to it”
NATALIE MICHAEL
Lack of Influence
Lack of Security
Lack of Respect
Not Realizing Dreams
SPENDER SPENDER
NATALIE MICHAEL
NATALIE
MICHAEL
“I’ve started one
but don’t stick to it”
NATALIE
MICHAEL
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
+
We both agree on who
is doing these things:
CONTEXT: EXPECTATIONS
Making your roles conscious: for most people, the biggest part of their “context” is what
they unconsciously learned about their role as a spouse from their family of origin.
How can you better handle role behaviors where you are currently not in sync?
How can you go about improving in these areas?
Refer to the “Expectations” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
7
Mom
Dad
Me
You
Mom
Dad
Me
You
Grocery shoppingNatalie
Yard work
Both Providing Income
Cleaning the houseNatalie
We need to decide on:
Cooking mealsNatalie
Auto maintenance
Maintaining ties with friends
Maintaining ties with relatives
Caring for a pet
Fixing things around the house
Talking about spiritual matters
Taking out the trashMichael
Making major decisions
Making the bed
Initiating talks about the relationship
LaundryNatalie
Scheduling social events
Gassing up the carBoth
Natalie Staying home with children
Paying bills and handling financesNatalie
Doing the dishesNatalie
Disciplining the children
Decorating the house
Natalie
Michael
Michael
Both
Planning vacations & holidays
Michael
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
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RELATIONSHIP RESIDUE
Potential unfinished business
Rebounding from a previous marriage
Rebelling against my ex-spouse
Persistent loneliness
Financial advancement
Pressure from others
Sense of obligation
Not at All
A Little
Not at All
More Than a Little
Not at All
Not at All
More Than a Little
A Little
A Little
Not at All
Not at All
Absolutely
Not at All
Not at All
Absolutely
A Little
Not at all
More Than a Little
ADDITIONAL UNRESOLVED ISSUES
Potential unfinished business with ex-spouse
Unresolved issues with ex-spouse or ex-in-laws
Financial or legal issues with ex-spouse
Still deeply grieving the loss of previous marriage
Yes
No
Yes
No
No
Yes
BLENDING A FAMILY
Thoughts to explore:
Feel uninformed about how to blend family
Feel sure children will adjust quickly
Feel torn between spouse and children
YesYes Feel like I’m competing for attention
NoNo Feel the kids will work us against each other
CONTEXT: REMARRIAGE & BLENDING A FAMILY
Remarried couples face a unique set of challenges. The more you resolve unfinished busi-
ness, the more you make your second marriage a first-class success.
What’s your biggest concern in relationship to the children?
What are your fears? What are your blessings?
Refer to the “Remarriage And Blending A Family” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
7A
In general, how do you feel about your potential relationship residue from your previous marriage?
What gives you peace of mind and what causes you anxiety?
What questions or concerns does this raise in your mind?
Which issue, if any, provokes distress or unease?
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
+
COOPERATING
SPOUSE
The "life of the party" might characterize you when
at parties or entertaining friends. You generally
become involved with whatever social activities are
taking place. You could benefit from help on setting
appropriate priorities for yourself. You tend to
procrastinate. You have a strong sense of humor.
You usually know when to lighten a difficult situa-
tion, amuse and entertain people. You have a
strong feeling of optimism, considered favorably by
your spouse and most people around you. Your
perception is that the glass is half-full rather than
half-empty.
You have to be with people. This extends into the
need to gain popularity, achieve social recognition
and influence those people around you, including
your spouse. The "bottom-line" is a strong people
orientation. You have a strong feeling of optimism,
considered favorably by your spouse and most
people around you. Your perception is that the glass
is half-full rather than half-empty. You usually
participate in whatever social group you belong.
You're not a "wallflower"--you like to meet people,
generate group enthusiasm and provide an open
environment for communicating.
DYNAMICS
Here’s a snapshot of your two personalities–their similarities and differences. There’s no
right or perfect combination, the key is understanding and appreciating your differences.
Identify the top 1 or 2 statements from your paragraph that you agree with most about
yourself. Give some examples that explain why these are true.
Refer to the “Individual Dynamics” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
8
ENERGIZING
SPOUSE
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ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
+
1
2
10
YOUR DYNAMICS: COOPERATING SPOUSE + ENERGIZING SPOUSE
STRENGTHS YOU BRING
TO MARRIAGE
Questions norms and the status quo.
Hospitable and neighborly.
Future focused to not stay stuck in past.
Sociable, builds couple friendships.
Works for a win-win.
YOUR STYLES
You are a fun-loving couple, relative to others. Your personalities differ, for sure. Michael (Energizing Spouse) may
come across as more driven and competitive while Natalie (Cooperating Spouse) may come across as more
passive and overly trusting on occasion – not to mention resistant to changes Michael (Energizing Spouse) may
like to make. These differences are likely to create friction in your relationship unless both of you commit
yourselves to understanding, appreciating, and valuing the other’s different style. When you do, your combination
of personality types creates a fun and collaborative marriage. Your personalities can be quite complimentary.
Beware, however, it can take time to find your dance steps together. Give each other grace and patience along the
way.
DYNAMICS
There has never been a marriage like yours before. The combination of your two personali-
ties can be mapped out to discover how you are hard-wired to give and receive love.
Consider some real life examples in your marriage where these play out.
How can you genuinely appreciate your differences in these four categories?
Refer to the “Relationship Dynamics” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
9
What do you think and feel about the shared dynamics of your two personalities
and how they mix? What can you do, in practical terms, to leverage your Dynamics?
Identify the top 1 or 2 statements you agree with most about yourself.
Explain why. Note the top strength you appreciate about your spouse.
FACTS FEELINGS
INFLUENCING EACH OTHER
ACCEPT RESIST
REACTING TO CHANGE
SPONTANEOUS CAUTIOUS
MAKING DECISIONS
REFLECTIVE AGGRESSIVE
SOLVING PROBLEMS
10
5
3
4
7
Natalie top / Michael bottom
Gathers facts before offering an opinion.
Motivated to understand spouse.
Works for a win-win.
Engenders enthusiasm and support.
Brings a feeling of security and stability.
LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX
How do you rate your desire?
8 10
My attentiveness to spouse’s needs?
8 9
How often do you expect to have sex?
ONCE PER WEEK
NATALIE MICHAEL
NATALIE MICHAEL NATALIE MICHAEL
ONCE PER DAY
Are you comfortable talking about sex?
ABSOLUTELY
NATALIE MICHAEL
MOSTLY
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
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HOW YOU VIEW LOVE IN PRACTICAL TERMS
Being heart-felt, vulnerable,
and giving the benefit of the
doubt.
Being passionate, bold and
adventurous together.
DYNAMICS: LOVE
What is love? Perhaps it’s no surprise that everyone seems to have their own answer. After
all, each of us is hardwired uniquely for giving and receiving love.
As you think about your love life, what other sexual issues or questions come to mind?
What issue related to sexuality causes some anxiety for you?
Refer to the “Love Life” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
10
How do your top desires compare? Elaborate on the qualities you chose. How would each
of you complete this sentence: “The thing that would improve our love life most for me...”
What aspects of your definition do you agree with most and how would you elaborate on it?
How can you help your spouse love you in ways you most desire? Use concrete examples.
COOPERATING
SPOUSE
ENERGIZING
SPOUSE
HOW EACH OF YOU WOULD IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE
1
2
3
ROMANCE
INTENTIONALITY
FREQUENCY
RESPECT
BALANCED SEX DRIVES
COMMUNICATION
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
+
60%
The percentages depict how optimistic, adaptable and resilient
you are when faced with a challenge.
Your resilience level is relatively low. Adjusting to
circumstances beyond your control does not
come easy. You may see the proverbial glass as
half-empty and you may struggle with having an
upbeat outlook.
Your resilience level is high. Relative to others,
you generally do a good job of adjusting to
circumstances beyond your control. You tend to
be adaptable, up beat, and positive when it
comes to overcoming a hurdle.
Based on your personality profiles, here are your most constructive
natural coping tendencies when life becomes demanding.
YOU AT YOUR BEST WHEN FACING A CHALLENGE
DYNAMICS: ATTITUDE
Marriage was never intended to make you happy–you make your marriage happy. How? It
all comes down to attitude and adaptability, in other words, your ability to adjust to things
outside your control.
What do you agree or disagree with? Why? Think of a real life scenario where
you saw this to be true. What could you have done to be easier to live with?
Refer to the “Attitude” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
11
What do you think about your results? What about your spouse’s? In specific terms, how do
the two of you adjust to an unfavorable circumstance? Real life examples?
85%
SELF-PROMOTING
UNREALISTIC
OVERLY OPTIMISTIC
OVERLY OPTIMISTIC
GLIB
UNREALISTIC
CHARMING
INSPIRING
ENTHUSIASTIC
PERSUASIVE
OUTGOING
OPTIMISTIC
CHARMING
ENTHUSIASTIC
PERSUASIVE
OUTGOING
HOW YOUR SPOUSE MAY PERCEIVE YOU UNDER STRESS
COOPERATING SPOUSE ENERGIZING SPOUSE
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
+
COMMUNICATION SKILLS YOU’D LIKE TO IMPROVE
HOW YOU LIKE YOUR SPOUSE TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU
Managing emotions appropriately
Thinking clearly before speaking
Inviting and receiving feedback
Thinking clearly before speaking
Reserving opinion until the right time
Being appropriately vulnerable
Let me know your expectations.
Be fun-loving and humorous.
Have some grace when I drop the ball.
Discuss dreams and goals with me.
Engage with me when I tell stories.
Have some grace when I drop the ball.
Give ample time to our conversations.
Ask me specific questions.
Weigh pros and cons in making decisions.
Engage with me when I tell stories.
You specialize in listening. You create a warm and
safe environment for great conversations, allow-
ing your partner to feel at ease and open much of
the time. Your conversations are rarely judgmen-
tal and you’re often quite patient, listening long
after others would have interrupted. This goes a
long way in helping you and your partner have
collaborative conversations. You help your
partner feel understood and valued and that
helps them to open up. You try to stay clear of
conversations that involve confrontation.
Relatively speaking, you are a professional when it
comes to engaging in conversation. You love
connecting with your partner through talk,
especially when the conversation topic is inspiring
and filled with enthusiasm. You likely use a colorful
vocabulary and you communicate not only with
words, but facial and other nonverbal expressions,
giving your partner every means possible to catch
your message. You’ll also stay with a point in a
conversation when others might give up. You want
to make sure your partner gets the message. Your
natural expressiveness can mean you need to work
at being a better listener on occasion.
DYNAMICS: COMMUNICATION
Communication is the lifeblood of your relationship. The more understanding and better
understood each of you feels, the stronger your marriage.
Why did you each choose these items? In practical terms, how can you improve and help
each other in the process? Give examples.
Refer to the “Communication” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
12
What do you agree or disagree with? Why? What real life examples come to mind in illus-
trating your talk style?
Select the two you resonate with most. Explain why they are important to you. Give exam-
ples of when and how they can do this for you. How can you help your spouse succeed?
NATALIE MICHAEL
COOPERATING
SPOUSE
ENERGIZING
SPOUSE
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
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YOUR TOP 5 NEEDS
WHAT NATALIE NEEDS TO
KNOW ABOUT MICHAEL:
As your husband, Michael needs more shared
activity.
As a dating couple, you enjoyed lots of shared
activity. Research shows this tends to diminish
once you marry. Husbands place surprising
importance on having their wife as a recreational
companion.
Why this matters:
Michael, more than you, connects emotionally by
doing things together.
WHAT MICHAEL NEEDS TO
KNOW ABOUT NATALIE:
As your wife, Natalie needs to be cherished
more than you think.
In your dating relationship, you focused a lot on
wooing Natalie. Research reveals that this fades
once you’re married because you become more
focused on providing for her than cherishing her.
Why this matters:
Natalie will be more passionate and intimate
with you when she feels cherished.
DYNAMICS: GENDER
We all know men and women are different, but understanding how these differences drive
our deepest needs, on top of our unique personalities, can make or break a marriage.
Why do these needs top your list? How will your spouse know when these
needs are being met? Be as specific and concrete as you can.
Refer to the “Gender” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
13
What recreational activities can you
enjoy with Michael through the years?
In what practical ways will Natalie
know you are cherishing her?
1
2
3
4
5
COMMITMENT
AFFECTION
RESPECT
COMPANIONSHIP
INTIMACY
COMPANIONSHIP
CONVERSATION
COMMITMENT
FINANCIAL SUPPORT
PERSONAL SPACE
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
+
Communication
Sex
Money
Careers
Chores
Communication
Schedules
Sex
Priorities
Sleep Habits
Every couple has a list of issues that are prone to conflict. Your hot topics, listed
in priority below, are most likely to spark tension for the two of you:
You sometimes overestimate your ability to
motivate your spouse.
Because of your trusting nature, you may
sometimes feel taken advantage of.
You sometimes use gestures or facial expres-
sions more than words to communicate.
Relative to your spouse, you may ignore or forget
small details.
PERSONAL CONFLICT CHALLENGES
These can limit your ability to successfully manage conflict
You sometimes look for a quick fix rather than a
permanent solution.
You sometimes make decisions based only on
surface analysis.
When it comes to spending money, you may be
more impulsive than your partner.
Relative to your spouse, you may ignore or forget
small details.
You can be intense when confronted
with a tough problem. The intensity
may not always fit the problem; that
is, sometimes you can get intense
over a problem that looks tough, but in actuality is
not. Often you will display a tremendous sense of
urgency to solve a problem. You like to solve it and
get onto the next activity. You project a strong
desire to help others. You give so much of yourself
that your own life and marriage relationship can
become disorganized. When working on plans for
activities, you must feel that you are "in on things."
You will generally offer creative ideas or suggest
activities.
HOT TOPICS
DYNAMICS: CONFLICT
Conflict is inevitable, even for loving marriages. It’s the price we pay for a deeper level of
intimacy. When you learn to fight a good fight, you can use conflict to your advantage.
Knowing these topics are likely to spark tension, how can you use this information to curb
conflicts? Give a concrete example of how you can better manage each one.
Refer to the “Conflict” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
14
What do you resonate with most from each list? Explore why these happen and discuss
what you can both do to grow in these areas. Use real life examples.
What do you agree or disagree with? Why? Select two or three statements from your para-
graph that you agree with most and explain how they may influence conflicts.
COOPERATING SPOUSE ENERGIZING SPOUSE
You tend to be emotional in the
decision making process; you become
involved in making each decision.
Your spouse needs to understand
that this is a part of your style, and it may add
energy and excitement to activities. To be more
effective, you should be more organized. Don't let
things pile up; handle matters and get them out of
the way, especially things that your spouse is
counting on to be finished. You mean well in start-
ing numerous activities, but your involvement with
so many usually forces some aside. As a result,
some things go unfinished. Often you will display a
tremendous sense of urgency to solve a problem.
You like to solve it and get onto the next activity.
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
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Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE TOGETHER
What you believe about spiritual practices in marriage:
Attend church weekly.
Go to the same church.
Discuss spiritual issues.
Receive communion together regularly.
Agree on theology.
Give a financial tithe and/or offering.
Pray for each other.
Pray together every day.
Be involved in serving others together.
Study the Bible together regularly.
Refer to the “Spirituality” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
15
Explore what each of you do to feel closest to God. Give specific examples of when and what
you do. How can you support each other in these practices?
Would you consider yourselves in sync spiritually? Why or why not?
How would you finish these two sentences right now:
“My spiritual life has been...”
“When it comes to our shared spiritual life...”
Being compassionate and loving
others even if it means significant
sacrifice. You are drawn to people in
need, and the more needs you
meet, the more energized you feel.
Connecting in a small group and
being accountable to them. You
may struggle to pray on your own
but not in a group. You are ener-
gized by socializing and fellowship
with other believers.
YOU FEEL CLOSEST TO GOD THROUGH:
DYNAMICS: SPIRITUALITY
Even happily married couples eventually discover a soulful longing to bond with their lover,
not just for comfort or passion–but also for spiritual meaning.
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
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TIME STYLE
Feeling overscheduled and underconnected? Understanding your two “time styles” can help
you reclaim the moments you’ve been missing togther.
What is your greatest insight into your respective “time styles”?
What’s one practical thing you can do to reclaim more quality time together?
Refer to the “Time Styles” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
16
You’re relatively unscheduled. So is Michael. You
both enjoy a more intuitive approach to time. But
the two of you focus your energy in different
places. While you focus primarily on the present,
Michael focuses primarily on the future. This can
sometimes cause conflict. After all, while you are
living in the here-and-now, Michael is thinking
about what’s down the road – or maybe even
considering what road to take, or even build. So
what does this mean for how you manage time as
a couple? First of all, no need to convert Michael
to be more present oriented. Michael is hard-
wired for the future. So whenever you can enter
your spouse’s dreaming, your spirits will be joined
together. Why? Because this is where Michael
comes alive. If you will try to focus on the future a
little you will find that these are moments when
you are most connected.
At times you may sometimes feel like Natalie is
clipping your wings. After all, you are trying to
create an exciting and better tomorrow as you
dream about ways to soar higher in the future. By
default, Natalie’s focus on the present may be
perceived by you as holding you back. This may
or may not be true, but generally speaking, it’s
probably not. It’s simply an attempt to help you
live in the here-and-now. So don’t take it person-
ally. Instead, see the value of what Natalie is
doing for you. Consider how you might incorpo-
rate reality into your dreams with Natalie’s
influence. Also, since both of you are relatively
unscheduled, your marriage may be able to
benefit from a little more planning. This does not
mean getting detailed with an elaborate sched-
ule, just keep in mind that you may benefit from
an objective influence.
DREAMERACCOMMODATOR
DREAMER
ACCOMMODATOR
0%
PROCESSOR
PLANNER
STRENGTHS
DRAWBACKS
punctual
paced
compulsive
legalistic
STRENGTHS
easygoing
fully present
FUTURE PRESENT
UNSCHEDULED SCHEDULED
DRAWBACKS
disorganized
complacent
STRENGTHS
spontaneous
visionary
DRAWBACKS
immobilized
unreasonable
STRENGTHS
DRAWBACKS
efficient
prepared
impatient
insensitive
62%
0%
24%
71%
10%
29%
4%
CHALLENGE
setting better
boundaries
CHALLENGE
becoming more
realistic
CHALLENGE
going with
the flow
CHALLENGE
being fully
present
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
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HARMONY
Knowing where you stand strongest together and where you might stand apart is a huge
step in cultivating more harmony.
How can the two of you celebrate the areas where you are most happy and harmonious?
What practical steps can you take to find more harmony near the bottom of the list?
Refer to the “Harmony” chapter of Strenghten Your Marriage
17
LESS HARMONY
MORE HARMONY
FEELING LIKE FRIENDS
GOALS / DREAMS
TRUST / HONEST Y
IN-L AWS / REL ATIVES
PARENTING AS A TEAM
SPIRITUAL INTIMACY
COPING WITH DEPRESSION
ROMANCE / SEXUAL FULFILLMENT
COMMUNICATION
SPOUSE'S PERSONAL HABITS
SERVING / ENCOURAGING EACH OTHER
FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT AS A TEAM
MANAGING ANGER
QUALIT Y TIME / USE OF FREE TIME
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
FORGIVENESS / HEALING
HER SATISFACTION
The closer the bars are
to meeting in the
middle, the greater
mutual satisfaction.
HIS SATISFACTION
In descending order, here
is your list of issues where
you are most-to-least
satisfied as a couple.
ASSESSMENT
SY BIS
+
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
Let’s identify your take-aways from this experience. And as you consider where to go from
here we have a few suggestions for making your marriage everything it was designed to be.
© SYMBIS.com
18
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road before you. Do you have a couple you’d like to mentor you? Send them
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FIND A MARRIAGE MENTOR
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GROW YOUR LOVE
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